"When in face of adversity, persevere during the tough times, for only with perseverance will you last long enough to be the one who's laughing in the end....
And by adversity, I mean a condescending, mean and strict SOB of a professor. By tough times, I mean times when he looks..no, stares at you like he wants to eat you and forcing an answer, and at the same time, breath of life out of you. By laughing in the end, I mean being able to put up your hand, answer him perfectly correct, him showing you the thumbs up when 4/5 of the whole class don't even have an idea what to answer. MUAHAHAHAHA I shit on you all o minions! I kicked ass!" - Shafeez Shaharan

Had a pretty nice and real appartment-meeting (finally after 1 whole year living here) with housemates. I'm amazed, suprised, disappointed and somewhat irked, as usual, by certain people's occasional hypocrisy. Or maybe they just changed so much (after a couple of months?) that they suddenly now act or react in a different way than how they used to, which irk me even more. How can a person be one person today and another the day after? Simply unacceptable.

This is what I'm talking about: Got 2 new housemates this year while the other 2 are old ones with whom I've been living together for a year now. So for 1 year I've been waiting for someone to take charge in this house. But nope no one was willing to, so I was guessing ppl won't change so I'm not going to expect anything from anyone. Well then here comes the aforementioned 'misunderstanding'. Housemate A is a new guy just moved in, first impression about him wasn't that good, very unfriendly. The day afterwards, came a very disturbing (for me at least) notice in the kitchen. And here I thought 'well this can't be from the old housemates, so must be from the new guy Housemate A'. I tore up this notice and threw it in the bin, since the way i do my business is 'if you've got a problem, tell me to my face, notices will only end up in the bin'. 

Then came Housemate B, one of the oldies, telling me we should make an appartment-meeting. I said OK. Then in the meeting, Housemate B mentioned about the notice while Housemate A just sat there quietly. Just then I realised, 'wait a minute, it wasn't HM A who wrote the notice, it was HM B!' 

So my question here is: Why would HM B do that NOW? I mean why now? why not a year ago or 6 months ago, so that I would know what she would expect from me as a housemate. Why would she bother to say now? And after this meeting today, I only found out about so many things. Like how HM B and HM C, the other oldie, cares a lot about whether the kitchen is in order or not etc etc. Then why were they so quiet before!? Not even once mentioning a single thing about the kitchen or its cleanliness or the tidiness of the common room. 

To me this are all a simple example of people's hypocrisy and double-facedness. If they had done this before I would have absolute no problem with anything. If they argue that they think finally someone do something about things here, then why the sudden seriousness? Why not be serious before? It's not like the problems didn't exist at that time, it was already there all the time. Now I'm not playing the victim here, but I'm merely stating my disappointment. I am in person very relaxed and flexible. If someone says I need to be clean and tidy I will for the sake of fairness that should come with living with other people. I am not a dirty and untidy person, but certainly my level of strictness for cleanliness and tidiness is not too high. 

All in all after what happened today I'm just glad that I stayed being me for the whole time. I didn't jump in the bandwagon and say 'hey! yeah let's do this!' neither did I put my hands up and say 'hey I have a problem with this'. I kept my cool as always and stayed being me all the time. I argue that speaking up is better personally, as it showcases your willingness to say what you want, but in the spirit of fairness with my fellow housemates it was better not to, since I don't want to create anymore stir in this house. Choose peace not war. 

I'm just so bummed out since watching Scrubs 'My Finale' episode. and ever since then I just can't stop listening, or humming or playing the song Book of Love by Peter Gabriel again n again nagain na gain in my head without having some kind of an emotional tingling in my chest or that area around my eyes on my face: yes, that's the closest i can get to the actual crying. Hey I'm not being a cocky jerk here, I think I'm just cursed with the disability to cry out my feelings, even as I was a baby. I've got a handful of ppl who can prove that.

Anyway I think all good thing must have an end. And as they say one mustn't spend too much time lingering in the past. What's got to go got to go, and we who're left behind must move on without those who've passed. Does that make any sense? I feel like I'm describing the emotional pain of death here.

Having that said, I'm off on a 24 hours of rerunning all the Scrubs DVD I have at home (I had the first 4 seasons and having went on an impulsive tour to my fav DVD Store and bought another 2, so now I have 6 Seasons, 1 more to go and waiting for the eighth to come out :D). May I laugh and be mostly near to crying all my way through watching those episodes. Thank god it's weekend.

And of course a tribute to one of the, if not the best TV Series of all time. It's made me laugh, cry, think a lot, realise my crush on my best female friend, help me deal with some real life issues, made me happy, made me depressed, made me understand the meaning of growing up.. and the list goes on. I'm gonna miss them.

10;00 -- woke up on time to watch F1

14;00 -- F1 turned out to be great... lots of action.. Home circuit.. was just AWESOME!

15;00 -- went to fitness center. wasn't feeling too lethargic this time.. did everything in a good tempo and weight.. AWESOME!

16;30 -- finished training.. went out.. weather was good (sun shining and not too warm).. went to Starbucks right in front of fitness center.. AWESOME!

17;00 -- went to the city center.. huge crowd there.. went into europapassage.. turned out to be a shopping sunday.. so did some window shopping, went into Thalia, picked up a book, read it, can't put it back down... came a sweet voice from a lady out of the loudspeaker saying the shop's going to close in 5 minutes... bought that book.. AWESOME!!

18;30 -- went into a betting center to watch Man U's match vs Aston Villa... saw the scoreline.. 1-2 to aston villa.. grreat.. an unknown guy came in for Man U named Macheda... who the fcuk is Macheda????

18;45 -- Man U scored 2 in the last 10 mins to win the match... and guess who scored the winning goal?? MACHEDAAAAAA!!!!!!!  anyway i didnt care and howled when he scored... probly i was the only one there supporting Man U not because of money :D .. anyway.. AWESOME!!



all in all... this Sunday couldnt have been any better... eventhough it is spent by myself i'm still happy and satisfied.. who says you can't be happy being alone?

"Nothing valuable can be lost by taking time" - Abraham Lincoln at his inaugerence speech

Before one can look on the bright side of life he has to get past the dark side first..

I thought with my new found confidence and high-self esteem i would not ever be caught in the down side of life anymore. Well how wrong was I.

Before I left offenburg (the last place I resided before moving to hamburg) I knew that I would miss 1 thing the most, my tennis club and all that belongs there, friends, the atmosphere, the ppl, my old and aging but once in a while very wise coach.. In a very courageous way I tried to recapture that, thus had a small appointment to play with a few guys who were coincidentally looking for new teammates for their club team here in hamburg. I thought "OK what the heck just give it a try, they might not be THAT good, and besides I've trained quite well during the winter I felt that I have improved a lot and I felt real good...

how wrong was I..

Yes they were THAT good, and no i am still not at a high level where I thought I was. And that was a team in the 3rd Class (fyi according to the tennis association of hamburg there are only 4 Classes below the highest league which is the Nordliga).

So it looks like I would need to forget my goal of playing regularly in a tennis club team for a while. Yes it's true I would've had that had I stayed in offenburg. But I need to move forward and under my current circumstances it's just not possible to play in a club team anywhere in hamburg.

So my goals for tennis from now on would be:
1) Practice as much as I can in 2009.
2) Have one or two test matches per season (summer, autumn, winter etc)
3) By early 2010 hopefully to achive 4.0 NTRP rating and end 2010 4.5. (am currently on 3.5.. btw those guys i played with today...they have 4.5 n 5.0 NTRP rating :|

Another reason of downside...
it's just so heartbreaking to see one of the few ppl that you have respect and sympathy and almost idolise in this world breaks down in tears. I'm out of reasons thinking why did Federer broke down so easily in the fifth set. Looking at the previous four sets, the sets that he won he won by a big margin, where as nadal wins with a 7-5 and a tiebreak. Well as they say, in the fifth set anything can happen. And as the commentator said, Nadal was so much in Federer's head, that he can't recover and kept on making one mistake after another. And in the end he was just finished. I think Nadal won not because he was just magnificent in that final... but also because he played good throughout the whole match and stood his ground the whole time that it got Federer stunned and in that final set Federer just couldn't take it anymore... It wasn't a sign of exhaustion but it was more like a sign of dejection from him. And after it all finishes he realised he had thrown away a huge win in his career that he just went down in tears. Oh well only he knows what really went on in his head. And that's the end of Australian Open. Next up Roland Garros.

Now a final hurdle towards the finish line (exams, last one in 3 days time) and then I'm off to Home!! :)

And now I would like to comment on the idea that humans would agree to do anything if they're overcome with fear for themselves.

Just a simple example. I'm sure many ppl have known of these certain spams going around certain friendship/networking sites (or nowadays should i say all? since i have been having these 'spams' on all three friendship/networking sites i am on). It all starts with a common input of fear that they (whoever starts these spams) would give to the reader, a simple 'if you don't do this your account would be deleted' or ' a virus will attack your hard drive and everything will be GONE!'. Which simply translated to: if you don't do what i say bad things will come upon you. And well the rest you know it, 'send this to everyone in your friend's list to make sure they will know about it'. Which also translates to: if you don't do what i say the same fate will fall upon those who you care for. Again, simple trick.

And thus in all of these feelings of uneasiness (fear,scared) of a certain 'rumour' that is being spoken (i say here rumour coz there's no 100% proof that it will happen, and since you hear it from a source which may or may not be a 100% reliable source, hence the word rumour), you just simply clicked on forward and start clicking like madness the names of your friends.

Therefore it proves my first hypothesis, that out of fear, mostly fear of oneselve's good being been threatened by something 'bad', ppl would do anything that has been told to them with a promise that if they do it, the bad thing will not happen. See how the power of 'comfort zones' is sometimes too great.

Other examples? Here's a biggie. Well there was this certain place on this earth where not long ago the ppl 'elected' the same ruler twice for eight years, who in numerous news interviews and talks on television, has been proven to be a complete idiot. With just a simple threat of 'terrorists' attacking their 'homeland' they would follow what he said and in the end he got what he want, tons n tons of oil. Katching!

There's also this one used-to-be great-but-in-the-end-shot-himself-in-the-head leader who also got elected out of fear that communism is going to 'terrorize' their land until they stand up and do something. Thus were born the infamous 'National Socialist Party'. If you still don't have any idea what that is, be ashame of yourself.. go google.

As for those spams, my opinion is that whoever first came up with that idea either 1)has no life/nothing else better to do in their lives. or 2) just discovered a great way of annoying other ppl who don't even give a shit of what happens if i don't forward the damn mail to other ppl. I decide not to continue this chain of annoyance. And as for IF the 'rumour' is true, then who cares?? i don't. If I really need that account I'll just make a new one.. what's so hard about that??

oh yeah.. wanna know what annoys me more?? is that ppl who has never ever contacted me before but still are on my friend's list all of a sudden decides to send me an email.. with me having a shock thinkig 'what would make this person send me an email all of a sudden??' and in the end finding out it's just a piece of crap (aka SPAM).

btw. here's what i found on the net what Spam means: Spam is the abuse of electronic messaging systems to indiscriminately send unsolicited bulk messages.
yes.. correct.. ABUSE. And the word itself comes from my ever favorite comical british group Monthy Python :D spam spam spam spam spam spam spammity spaaaaammmmmm spam spam spam spam spam spam spam  spamity spaaaammmmmm!!!

StarSports Commentator referring to Roger Federer:
Y'know he reminds me of Frederick the .... , "Don't make me angry, if you make me angry.. things happen"

Other commentator: Or like Hulk..? (laughing)

First comm.: Yeah like Hulk too (laughing)

We Humans live in Time, and Time is moving forward constantly. Thus we are moving forward constantly.

Life is like a long train with you as the engineer. Where it heads and where it stops can only be decided by you. Until it stops ultimately at the end station.


Winston Churchill: "The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see. "
My interpretation of this is that with more history that you have, more things that you went through in the past, the clearer you will see what lies ahead of you, and the more you will be ready of what lies ahead that you might not foresee.

Writing that last entry remind me of something.

I love problems.
I love adventures.
I love obstacles.

They remind me to live.
They remind me to think.
They remind me
what my purpose is on this tiny earth.

They make me active.
Whereas being passive makes you 'not living'.


Side Note: God please have mercy on me and may me saying this not make me be attractive to more problems :D

A Problem is only a Problem when you make it a Problem....~Shafeez Shaharan

The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.~ Alan Saporta
~~~


Definition:
ob·sta·cle (bst-kl)
prob·lem (prblm)

A Problem is sometimes (or most of the times, depends whether ur an optimist or a pessimist) just a mere obstacle which a person just didn't see a way of going out or around it. Do note that there are many ways to overcoming an obstacle, think about that obstacle course on a military training camp. Yes sure that annoying Drill Sergeant keeps on shouting "JUMP OVER THE WALL!!! JUMP!! OVER!!". But in real life there are no annoying sergeants yelling to you what you should or should not do. So if you think you can't jump over the wall, why not just go around it?(Yes that might sound like cheating, but.. who cares?? unless if ur playing a sport where 'sportsmanship' IS a big deal) Or better still, get some help from friends to push you up and over it.

What usually happens in this world is that most people see problems as Problems. And they spent way too much energy on worrying. (Note: Worrying in bits here n there is OK. but too much is a destructive negative force) And when they've run out of energy to worry, what do they do? They give up.

What one should actually do is to break that energy towards worrying and instead channel it into finding a way to solve it. True one by him/herself might not be able to find a solution on their own. Finding help would be the next step to solving a problem. Admitting that one has a problem, is probably the biggest and most important first step in solving it.

I just learned today that another friend of mine is going to leave Hamburg in the next few months.. that's already the third one now. Great.. now what? I was kinda happy to be having this small circle of friend and now everyone's leaving?

Life goes on.. now it looks like I'm going to have to go through a new plan.. reshuffle all my 'future planning train of thoughts' and somehow be flexible enough that I could rearrange my life's situation.

Of course I'm comfortable with myself (The Batman side) but the social life me needs my own comfort zone. Bruce Wayne needs his people in order to fulfill his needs.

I believe there is good in every human being. No matter how evil one might seem on the outside, there is a good in there. It's just a matter of whether the good is being clouded out by the bad or not. (Reminds me of Luke Skywalker and Luke-I-am-your-father Darth Vader.) (Also refer to the 'Big Dark Clouds' overcoming Gondor before Sauron releases his attacks)

The world is all about Good versus Bad. Wherever you look at, whether it's that interview with a famous celebrity or sports star, whether it's that blockbuster movie you've always watched again n again, or that bestseller book that you just can't put down, or even as simple as a little petty conversation with a friend. It is all about doing what's Good, or doing what's Bad. The decision is yours (the person who's 'doing' aka 'taking action'). Good will lead to more Good while Bad will lead to more Bad. Each will attract more of eachself.

You might attain something which you think is Bad, like stumbling upon a stone and hurt yourself, when you know you've been Good all your life, you wonder "Why is this happening to me!??? WHYYYY???". But if you're a good person you know it's no one's fault, thus you accept it as an 'accident'. Thus not giving fault to anyone (Good). Therefore you will be a Happier human being (Good)

Say instead if you curse the stone, and in all of the wrath of the moment you curse everyone that goes in your way. What happens? You become Unhappy(Bad).

Yes, it's those Karma and "what goes around comes around" giberrish. Yet I believe in those 'gibberishes'.


p/s: yes, there is without doubt certain humans who are plain evil inside and outside. stay for away from them, and you will be happy all the way.

Have you ever wondered why exactly Batman v Joker? Why The Joker is Batman's ultimate villain? There are other villains in Batman and each of them have their own unique strength, but why is Joker always THE one that ALWAYS gets to him.

It's because.. well.. he's the joker! Get it? The JOKER??

You see.. Batman is a serious character.. I mean VERY serious. He takes his job very seriously. Even when he's Bruce Wayne he still has it at the back of his mind that he IS Batman and he wants to fight crime. He goes to all lengths in order to achieve his goals.. which is to ultimately fight the Bad and Evil characters.

So what does Joker do? He laughs... yes exactly he laughs his ass off at Batman, even when he doesn't mean to.. he just laughs. He laughs AT him, he laughs BEHIND him... heck he might even laugh while he's on the loo thinking about Batman!

Moral of the story is... if you're serious about something that other ppl might not understand at first, might be your goals in life, about a relationship, your life, your work, your ambitions.. whatever.. there WILL be someone or certain humans that will ridicule you, laugh at you OR behind you. The key is PERSEVERE, and keep on believing that what you are serious about will in fact become truth. When you still don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, keep on believing, and hope, that it will come. For Hope and Believe is the key to living this life.

And what happens to the Joker? well he will keep on laughing, even until he dies.. (refer to Batman 1989 ending scene.. yes that's what i mean)

I found this on the internet today... so moral of the story:
1) Eat your fish
2) Eat your nuts and raisins.

and many more of course read it yourself if you wanna know more ;-)

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